I’ve been thinking about and praying for Melindie. I don’t know her, but as you can see, she signed my guest book and spoke of her own battle with a very scary cancer.
The wonderful thing is, you all have been a blessing to her as well with your words of encouragement. Who knows how many other “silent” readers there are out there with cancer who are also looking for hope. You all give me hope, and I know you are doing the same for many others. Thank you so much for that.
And then another poster shared these words:
I am truly happy for you Ann – as I have been following your story for some time now. I wonder though if you might be moved to write about how god works to save some and bring relief to some – but does not appear to bring that to others – good people – who led good family lives. Why is it that you can see god’s ways in your life and yet – god seemed not to grace the people in my life (and many others) with the same? This is something that really puzzles me and I would be very interested in knowing your thoughts.
# Posted By shelly | 6/7/08 9:34 AM
I’ve been thinking about Shelly’s words a lot lately too. She is asking a question as old as time and one I’m not sure I’m smart enough to answer. Who really does have a grip on the sovereignty of God?
God has been very good to me this year, although I can’t say I’m healed. I still have cancer. But I’m going to claim that healing because of His promises. God has given me a miracle throughout this process and that’s His peace. Peace that really does pass all understanding. It’s also a miracle that, even though the cancer is there, it doesn’t seem to be doing anything. I believe prayer has much to do with that.
Now, why me and not others? I don’t know. I do know the Apostle Paul asked for healing, but he never received it. God said, “My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in your weakness.” Sometimes when Jesus healed he said it was faith that made the person well. Other times he healed people who never expressed faith or who even expected or asked to be healed. In the fifth chapter of John there is the story at the pool where many people with disabilities would lie…the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One man there had been an invalid for 38 years. Jesus approached him and asked if he wanted to be well. There were many people there in need of healing, but Jesus picked this one man and we don’t know why.
I don’t know if this helps, but maybe some of you have your own thoughts. If so, I would like to hear them. Shelly would too.
Thank you again for your words and your encouragement. Not only for myself, but for all those “silent readers” out there.
I know how Shelly feels and the thoughts she had – my husband passed away July 31, 2007 from Mutiple Myeloma which is a cancer of the bone marrow the cancer caused his kidney’s to fail and he was on dialysis starting May 2003 – I know he is in heaven but he never found the peace and acceptance to die he didnt want to leave us and my daughter and myself go on and find no blame in God or anyone else but it is so unfair, although we both know you can always find someone who has it far worse than you do (you meaning myself). I know my husband is well now and happy but it is so hard because us that are left are the ones with questions and pain and longing to see our loved one again. I also have a dear friend whose husband was just diagnoised with gandular cancer and has it in mutiple places with a 40 to 60% chance to live 1 year with treatment. There is so much saddness and pain in this world and I don’t know how people live without the comfort of our Lord. I for one hang onto that. These tough questions may be answered one day when we meet our Lord but he may choose not to answer – I only know for me he is the only hope I have. God Bless you Shelly. Ann and all you as Ann calls you, silenet people out there who are dealing with illness and any other stuggle you may have in life, he is there for you only for the asking and will never leave you. Peace and prayers to all.
There have been times in my life that I have asked
“WHY?!”
Then there are times (1-5- even 10 years later) that I
get my answer and I thank God for the experience,
lesson, and getting me through it.
There are so many things that truely don’t seem fair ,
and as hard as it may be, we have to remember that
there truely is a reason for everything that happens.
GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERY ONE!
That is a great question…I think the answer is in surrendering daily to the Lord’s will and living in the grace of the present moment. My mom died three weeks ago of pancreatic cancer. She had a 3 month diagnosis and lived for 9 months…our 9 months were full of joy and love and the peace that Ann describes which only came as a result of prayer and a gift of God. Her 9 months had meaning…she had 9 kids and it felt like her illness was her pregnancy birthing herself and us to heaven. She offered so much of her suffering to the Lord for us and her kids were her strength. It was an honor to be part of it. She prayed like Ann and her prayers were answered in the love that we all felt even when she passed. Love conquers death and I am convinced that one person who is physically healed is no different than one person who is healed thru the gates of heaven…the only difference is if they are done with the mission the Lord had planned for them. My mom was complete and finished with her mission and other’s missions continue on. Praise God Ann on your great news…your mission to evangelize is touching many souls!
Dear Ann and all, Once a holy priest explained to me that because Our Father is both just and merciful – both Judge and Savior – in His justice we choose by how we live virtue in this life our home in the next life, but in His great and perfect mercy, He brings us to our last judgment at the exact moment when we are most likely to gain Heaven and the best room in His mansion (ie: closest to Him if we have chosen Him). He knows our past and our future and gives us that advantage.
How narrow is the gate and how few are chosen but through His mercy we die at the moment He can bring us closest to Him whether we are 5, 50, or 100 when we die. Heaven is not just one big room – nor is purgatory or hell – Dante is still the best at describing that there are many rooms in the mansion and the closer we are to Him the more joy we will have.
When Christ asks us to be little children what He means is to trust Him like a small child trusts his father. If we have formed a habit of putting all our trust in Him then we Want to die when He wishes and how He wishes and nothing else matters but His Holy Will for us. And if we love Him, we desire Him, we long for Him and this life becomes, like Teresa of Avila said, “one night in a bad inn”.
I was given this Daily Acceptance Of Death to pray twice daily and I find it helpful.
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus,
I accept from Your hands,
whatever kind of death it may please You to send me today (tonight),
with all its pains,
penalties and sorrows,
in reparation for my sins,
for the souls in purgatory,
for the conversion of sinners,
for all those who will die today (tonight),
and as always for Your greater glory.
Amen.
Dear Ann,
I don’t begin to know THE answer. But, here is mine…
With God’s grace comes the peace in knowing I am a born again child of God. In order to attain that grace, one must realize that he/she needs God, one must ask God to forgive his/her transgressions (one by one) meaning it whole-heartedly, and then pray to Him to let His presence be known.
He will make his presence known!!!
This knowledge is what I call “blessed assurance“… that if i live i live with Him on earth and that if i die i live with Him in paradise.
It is a win-win situation!!!
Further, I don’t believe that God is an afflicter. I believe that we as a human race have altered our environment and have created things in life that are very dangerous. In essence, I believe We have created that which afflicts us. And our free will allows us to make choices that are sometimes good for us and sometimes… bad.
The God I came to know through Jesus Christ in the Bible didn’t heal for the sake of healing. Everything Jesus Christ did do was for the sake of increasing faith… in my opinion, it was nothing more. He had a lot of believers to make in a very, very short time.
I, too have suffered through illness. so, the words “my grace is sufficient for you” have been words by which i’ve lived. i love those words and hold tightly to them. God’s words and His abundant love give me peace… and have for the last 9 years of my life.
When I surrendered to Him he didn’t “heal” me. He did much more than that… He saved my eternal life!!!
Lastly, I know that this may all just sound, “simple”. But, it’s the only truth I know:)
Love and God’s blessings,
Dani